[I know I normally don't write post like this, but I felt the need to share. So be warned before you read that this post isn't really about my kiddos... it's about something God has been teaching me.]
During this pregnancy, several couples we know have lost babies. Several have had their babies born way to early. Some have been born sleeping. Others have been only here on Earth for a few minutes or a few hours. Another was born full term, but because of heart and lung disease, was only with his mommy and daddy for six months.
My heart hurts so much for these mommies. I haven't necessary reached out to them all because often I don't have words to say, but I have prayed for them often. Most days, several times a day. By name. Asking God to somehow comfort them. I have also cried for them.
I can't even imagine the pain these mommies have felt.
But, it makes me grateful for so much.
It makes me grateful for the 104 weeks (so far) I have spent of my life growing humans inside me. For all the kicks and punches. For the growing pains. For the puking. For the weird cravings. For the shortness of breathe. For the back pain. For the 60 hours of labor (so far).
It makes grateful for the child I only was able to carry inside me for a few short weeks. For the fact that I am able to show Kyle and Emily ultrasound pictures of their brother or sister that was in my belly with them. For the hope of someday meeting my child I was never able to hold in my arms and watch grow up.
It makes me grateful that I have gotten to snuggle and care for three tiny babies. For the sleepless nights. For the little cries (and big ones). For the giggles. For the smiles.
It makes me grateful that I have had the opportunity to watch three kiddos learn to roll over. Learn to sit up. Learn to crawl. Learn to walk. Learn to get into EVERYTHING!
It makes me grateful that I have had the privilege of providing nourishment for my children; that for their first six months of life or so, my body made everything they needed to grow. For my breastpump. For bottles. For a child who only likes it from the source. For my boobs!
It makes me grateful for dirty diapers. For pee. For poop.
It makes me grateful for spit up. For puke. For snot.
It makes me grateful that I have the honor of watching my boys wrestle. For watching my boys pick on their sister. For breaking up fights. For having to teach my children to be kind to each other. For children who play together. For witnessing the love they have for each other.
It makes me grateful for all the frustrations. For the fact that my kids are hear to annoy me and test my patience. For the fact that I get to have meltdowns because some days are a little more than I can handle.
I am grateful for the kisses. For the hugs. For the "I love you"'s. For the "Sorry"'s.
I am grateful for the expenses. For the beds we can provide for our children to sleep in. For the roof we can pay for to provide shelter for our kids. For the food we are able to buy to feed hungry bellies. For the car seats we get to buy as our children grow. For the new clothes and shoes we get to provide every few months. For the things that have to be replaced because a little person destroyed them. [For the grandmas and grandpas that help us out!]
I am grateful for messes. For having to teach my kiddos to pick up their toys. For having to clean up.
I am grateful for the opportunity to feed my children. For the ability to teach them to eat. For watching them eat. For messes. For spilled milk. For flying food. For the "Thank You"'s that come after a meal.
I am grateful for healthy children. For Celiac's disease and gluten free food.
I am grateful for this crazy job of being a mommy. For the good and for the bad. For the smiles and for the tears. For the joys and for the frustration.
I am grateful for Emily Doris.
I am grateful for Kyle Myron.
I am grateful for Colby Thomas.
I am grateful for Peyton William.
I am grateful!